Semantics

What they say:

Dear Leah,

Thank you for your application for the open position at XYZ Company. At this time we have decided to pursue other candidates whose background and skills more closely match our requirements for this position.

Although we have decided not to proceed with your candidacy for this position we will retain your candidate file in our database and may inform you of job openings that match your profile if you selected this option. We also invite you to visit http://www.xyzcompany.com regularly and apply to openings that are suited to your qualifications and of interest to you.

We thank you for your interest and wish you all the best in your career.

Best regards,
Human Resources Department

What they mean:

Dear Sad, Unemployed Person:

Thanks a lot for cluttering my inbox with your resume for the only open position we have at our company. Since your resume was one of thousands we received from other desperate individuals such as yourself, we decided that after reading through about 20 resumes, we couldn't take another sob story. Therefore, every resume after the 20th will be getting this nice form letter alluding to the fact that we actually read your qualifications in order to determine that you are so not right for this job.

Due to the fact that you are receiving this generic letter, we must, by law, continue to hold on to your resume for an absurdly long period of time. In a perfect world, we would be able to refer back to your resume when we have an open position and give you a call when we found something that you are qualified for. However, since we are busy people with lives beyond the office, in addition to limited filing space, there is no way we are going to do this and your resume will actually be filed in the circular bin under my desk. We need you to take the initiative of finding your own damn job and think the best way for you to do this would be to visit some other company's website and hope you are qualified for one of their open positions.

We thank you for giving us more work to do (NOT) and we wish you the best looking for gainful employment elsewhere.

Good Riddance,
Human Resources Department

Just sayin...

Booty Call

First of all, it's not what you think.

One of the better things about being unemployed right now is that my lovely friend, Katherine, is also currently "on sabbatical." Since she was pink slipped, she has enjoyed being a stay-at-home mom to her two boys. Normally, she has her youngest during the day while her oldest is at school. Thursday, however, is her day off; she drops off her youngest at daycare and is then free to do all of the things she can't do with a toddler in tow...like run errands, go to the gym, have her hair done, get a pedicure, etc.

Shortly after I was laid off, I decided to hit the library since my book-buying days had abruptly come to a screeching halt. Just as I was pulling into a parking space my phone rang. It was Katherine. She was heading to the mall to pick up some things for her kids and wondered if I wanted to join her for lunch and then some shopping. Well, who am I to pass up a trip to the mall, especially when I am supposed to be hunting for a new job? I told her I was at the library and could be at her house in about 10 minutes. She said she would pick me up since the library is on the way to the mall.

As she pulled up in front of the library and I hopped into her car, she said to me, "You know, this is just like a booty call...I call you and you are at my beck and call for the afternoon." I laughed and said, "It's exactly like a booty call, only for shopping. What could be better?"

Since then, whenever Katherine wants company on her Thursdays off, she calls and we head out, normally for lunch first and then some shopping. Booty calls are definitely one of the perks of being unemployed.

Pretty in Pink...Not So Much

Normally, I consider pink to be an auspicious color for me. It's cheery, very girly, and as a redhead, I look good in pink. I've always considered pink to be my signature color (not unlike Shelby Eatenton in "Steel Magnolias"). However, when pink comes in the form of a pink slip, it's not really an auspicious color for anyone.

106 days ago I received my pink slip. If I had been more on the ball, and not so freaked out by being laid off for the first time in my life, I would have started blogging about my new normal from the get-go. But as they say, better late than never.

So here I am, three months into my unemployment with nary a new job in sight. I decided it might be entertaining and insightful to post musings and observations on being out of work, looking for a new job, keeping busy with all of this time on my hands, and living life on the cheap.

Please drop me a line if you like what you read, would like to comment on anything I have written, or if you have any suggestions. As my resume says, "Proven ability to successfully adapt skill set in any environment."