Dear Leah,
Thank you for your application for the open position at XYZ Company. At this time we have decided to pursue other candidates whose background and skills more closely match our requirements for this position.
Although we have decided not to proceed with your candidacy for this position we will retain your candidate file in our database and may inform you of job openings that match your profile if you selected this option. We also invite you to visit http://www.xyzcompany.com regularly and apply to openings that are suited to your qualifications and of interest to you.
We thank you for your interest and wish you all the best in your career.
Best regards,
Human Resources Department
What they mean:
Dear Sad, Unemployed Person:
Thanks a lot for cluttering my inbox with your resume for the only open position we have at our company. Since your resume was one of thousands we received from other desperate individuals such as yourself, we decided that after reading through about 20 resumes, we couldn't take another sob story. Therefore, every resume after the 20th will be getting this nice form letter alluding to the fact that we actually read your qualifications in order to determine that you are so not right for this job.
Due to the fact that you are receiving this generic letter, we must, by law, continue to hold on to your resume for an absurdly long period of time. In a perfect world, we would be able to refer back to your resume when we have an open position and give you a call when we found something that you are qualified for. However, since we are busy people with lives beyond the office, in addition to limited filing space, there is no way we are going to do this and your resume will actually be filed in the circular bin under my desk. We need you to take the initiative of finding your own damn job and think the best way for you to do this would be to visit some other company's website and hope you are qualified for one of their open positions.
We thank you for giving us more work to do (NOT) and we wish you the best looking for gainful employment elsewhere.
Good Riddance,
Human Resources Department
Just sayin...
1 comment:
I just read your latest blog and laughed right out loud at my desk! Not only are you a brilliant writer, but you nailed the HR line of BS right on the head..... keep our resume' on file, ha! Keep on writing, I look forward to your daily musings!
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